Freudian slips...

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XIHA Life Forum → Entertainment → Jokes → Freudian slips...

Add to favorites | Whisper | Quote

1. Joe | 2006-09-21 | English

A patient says, "Doctor, last night I made a Freudian slip. I was having dinner with my mother-in-law and wanted to say: 'Could you please pass the butter?' But instead I said: 'You silly cow, you have completely ruined my life.'"

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Whisper | Quote

2. Joe | 2006-09-21 | English

One day there was a priest sitting in a pew with a very
worried and nervous look, and a another priest saw him and
wondered what was wrong. The second priest thought he should
try to help, so he approached his distraught associate and
asked him what was wrong.

"Well" the first priest said, "have you ever heard of a
Freudian Slip?"
"No," said the other.
"Well" said the first, "it`s when one slips and says
something one is thinking usually when it is the least
opportune time."
"Oh," said the third, "so, what happened."
"Well, today I performed a wedding and you know the part
when you say `I now pronounce you man and wife`?" asked the
first.
"Yes?" said the second.
"Well that is what I meant to say, and what I actually said
was, "I now sentence you to death."

Whisper | Quote

3. Joe | 2006-09-21 | English

Two guys walk into a bar, and they both have black eyes. "How did you get your black eye?" asks the first guy. "Well, it was really a Freudian slip. You see, I was walking through the park one day when i saw a woman with three beautiful children. I walked up to her to compliment her children, but when I tried to say, 'You have some lovely kiddies,' I accendentally said,'You have some lovely titties.' So she slapped me, and gave me this black eye. How did you get your black eye?" asked the second man. The first man replied, "Well, I too had a Freudian slip. I was sitting down to breakfast with my wife of thirty-two years, and I tried to say, 'Would you please pass the Cornflakes?' but instead I said, 'You ruined my life you f***ing bitch.'"

Whisper | Quote

4. Jing Jing | 2007-10-4 | English

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